Damn it.

Damn it all to hell.

I miss you. The old you - the one that laughed with me, and was nice to me and was my best friend. The old you, who told me his problems and asked me to fix them, and even if I couldn't, he'd be happy that I helped him. The old you, who would parent the others and rule them like they were a kingdom. The old you, who would talk shit with me about idiots. The old you, the one who never called me names, or made me feel dumb, or anything. The old you, who knew everything about me.

I'm not supposed to miss you.
You're not supposed to pop up in my thoughts like this is a game of Hide and Seek.
This is supposed to happen to me.
I'm supposed to feel in control.
I don't.
I'm not.
This is bad.