The room was entirely white, the walls, the high ceilings, the plush carpet flooring.
There were no windows. No doors.
I was sitting in the precise middle, my knees drawn up to my chest, staring at the tips of my bare feet. I was clothed in all black from my jeans to a long sleeved shirt. My fingers were entwined as I waited, listening to my own battling thoughts as usual.
"BooBoo?" an old, weak voice called.
Looking up, I studied a figure. I took in her aged, smooth feet. Her loose white pants and long sleeved shirt. Her hands that stuck out from the long material, wrinkled and fragile, her fingers tapered- a former pianist's hands. And finally her face, unwrinkled like every other woman in her family, just visibly aged. Her smile was full of her original teeth, straight but yellow. Her usual bloodshot eyes were welcoming, warm. A warmth I hadn't seen in any one's eyes in a long time shone brilliantly through hers. My heart sang.
"Granny?" I questioned, still unsure if she could really be standing there.
"Yes, Katydid. It's me." Her voice was hoarse, like she was out of breath. I smiled and stood. "Well come on. Hug me." I embraced her, feeling her body heat against my palms. She clutched my back, pulling me toward her.
"I've missed you," I whispered in her ear.
"You're so much like your mother. No wonder they call you Little Libby. Always preoccupied with 'I miss you' and such. We haven't got time for that right now. It's almost midnight and I'll have to get on to bed."
I simply smiled as she let me go. "Why are you here?" I asked, trying not to sound rude.
"What? I can't come see my great granddaughter?"
I laughed. "Come on now, there's like 40 of us."
"Oh I know. Your heart just kept tugging for me and I thought I'd pay you a visit now that I can collect my thoughts. I know you've been upset these past few weeks, so what's wrong, dear?"
"There's so much Granny. So very much..." I trailed. She gestured and stuffed white chairs appeared, as though she were a magician.
"Well, sit. Let's talk."
"Are you sure you've got the time?"
"I've always got time for Libby's youngest."
"Okay, if you really want to hear it."
"I do." We sat and she gestured again, tea cups appearing in our hands. I smiled.
"I'm not sure this a tea and crumpets type of talk, Granny."
"Oh pish posh. Every talk is a tea and crumpets talk."
I laughed.
"I don't know where to start," I frowned.
"Start with the boy."
I'd been staring into my tea and swirling it with the fragile silver spoon resting in it. I flicked my head up. "What?"
"Oh don't be silly. I've been watching you up there," she pointed to the sky, "and I know what's been going on between you and the small one."
I gave her a smile. She'd been watching me. Out of the hundreds of people she could have watched, she'd been watching me. As if reading my thoughts she said, "Like I said, that little heart of yours has been nagging me."
"Well, he used to be my best friend."
She sipped her tea and nodded for me to continue.
"And I didn't approve of dating the girl he's dating again."
"Did something happen with them before?"
"She broke his heart." I stared into my tea again.
"So you were right to disapprove. But what else?"
"I yelled about it."
"That was wrong. You should have kept it to yourself."
"I know that now."
"So, what was your consequence?"
"He's not speaking to me."
"I see. And this upsets you?"
"Sorta. It really hurt at first but I'm past it."
"Are you?"
"Mostly."
We smiled and sipped our tea.
She didn't ask anything for a few moments, as though she were pondering over something.
"Tell me about the redhead."
"Tayler?"
"Yes."
"She used to be a good friend."
"Is that all?"
"No..."
"What's happened with her?"
"I've developed an annoyance of her."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. It's like I can't ever stand to see her. She's always saying something to make me feel bad about myself, or make me angry. She's said things that were bragging and she seems to always be telling me to just get over it. After what I've done for her when Josh dumped her... I just can't stand her."
"And who is Josh? We don't really get names up there."
"Joshua is one of my friends. You've probably seen him. His the one that acts nice to me."
"Acts?"
"Yeah. I think he's only pretending to be friends with me."
"And why do you think this?"
"He's been different lately. Changing. It's almost like I'm being avoided. He only talks to me when it seems necessary. Lunch. That's pretty much it."
"Oh. I think I know who he is."
"Yeah..." The tea in my hand caught my eyes again.
"I don't think you need them very much. If they're going to act this way- treat you this way, maybe it'd be best if you just forgot them. The first boy especially. He doesn't listen to you, his loss. Don't let him run back to you if she drops him like a hot potato again."
I smiled. She was always so good at making me do that.
"Thanks, Granny."
"Now. What's been going on with the last boy."
"Which one?"
"The one with the brown hair and the sweet smile."
"I don't know who you're talking about."
"The one your mother likes so much."
"Oh. Connor? What about him?"
"You've been spending a lot of time with him."
"I know." I was getting confused now.
"Are you okay with that?"
"I used to not be, but I am now."
"Why do you think that is?"
"I don't really know. Because I guess I lost one of my best friends and Connor's starting to look like a better one."
"Finally, you see what your mother's seen all along."
"Hm?"
"Nothing, dear, nothing." She smiled. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "We've only got a few more minutes, darling."
"What time is it?" She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply again. "11:52."
"Oh. What do you want to here about next?"
"Your parents."
"Oh..." I frowned.
"Are they fighting again?"
"Mom gets mad over every little thing he does. He spends time with Paul, she gets mad. He doesn't know what he wants for dinner, she slams doors. He gets dirt on her clean floor, she screams. I'm always sitting there when she decides she wants to point out flaws that she shouldn't be so angry over. She's always screaming at me about him, as though it's my fault that he's not the way she wants him. I keep hearing it and I can't make it stop..."
Tea swirled in my cup, fascinating me again.
"And you're stressed out over it."
I nodded.
"You're worried they're still on the edge of separation aren't you?"
"So very worried..." I whispered.
"You shouldn't be worried. Things will work out, fall into place. Don't worry about those people you've been fretting over. In a few years what will they mean to you? Will you need them then? Do you even need them now? It seems that if they don't need you and can't treat you the way a human is meant to be treated, then ignore them. You don't need anyone that's going to cause you so much pain." She closed her eyes. "I love you, Kay, but I can't stay." She stood and began backing away.
"Wait! What time is it?"
"11:59, Katydid, 11:59."
"I love you, Granny!"
"Remember, they aren't worth the trouble! Not even that boy and his girlfriend. They won't last, even I can see it. I'll see you soon, BooBoo. I'll-"
My eyes shot open and I rolled over to look at the clock.
12:00 it read in yellow-orange letters.
She always did go to bed at midnight.
May 19, 2009
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