Sometimes...

...I wish you weren't my sister. I wish I didn't know you. And I most certainly wish you wouldn't do this to me.
"What are you talking about? He came right up to me and hugged me tight!"
My first thought: you fucking cunt! are you trying to make me cry?
You're so mean to me. I don't know why I deal with it. It's like you know what hurts me the most and you use it against me. You know I'm upset that he's not talking to me. You know it upsets me that I haven't hugged him in a really long time. You know it all upsets me yet you go and do this.
I wanted to cry on the bus. I almost did but I couldn't.
Where's the point in crying when there's no one there to comfort you?
Although I'm pretty sure Alec would have tried to make me feel better.
I guess that's okay, but I don't want Alec to be the one to comfort me.
I don't want to need to be comforted.
I want things to go back to how they were before he started dating her again.
Did you know I can't even say his name out loud?